Cold Feet, a Purring Cat, and the Permission I Didn’t Know I Needed to Rest
My feet were cold. Everything was cold. I just finished a smoothie that checked all my health boxes at the time, but I still clung to the warmth of the couch because I felt like a little lizard in the snow. My little kitty girl came to crawl up into my lap. I needed to get the day started, but how could I possibly disturb my her? I guess I just had to take another moment of letting the cold and the darkness dictate my movement, mood, and decisions.
Rewind just a few years. I felt the dampening yoga towel beneath my fingers, drops of sweat hitting the ground and pushing, pushing, pushing. Pushing to the end of class thinking, “Why is this so hard?” I’ve done this dozens of times? On this February evening it felt like I had nothing to give and no amount of pushing would break me through to my second wind that I knew all too well as a cross country letterman.
I do not recommend either approach to winter. There is another way. It’s both a novel concept and an ancient one. Though as many recently point out, much of our ancient knowledge has been lost. I cannot pinpoint when I started on this wintering journey, but just a few years ago this thought of changing my daily habits in winter was a nuisance, an inconvenience, a weakness. However, somewhere along the line I decided to lean into it more and more and more. I can only explain it by saying it was the call of the Holy Spirit that beckoned me to change my routine, directives, diet, goals, activities and expectations for my energy and body and life. And then I read a book called Wintering by Katherine May and it further changed my perspective. This read, on the heels of Ancient Nutrition by Dr. Josh Axe was what I needed to put some ideas into practice that finally made me not feel like the grey skies of the Pacific North West were going to descend upon me and crush me. I felt justified about what I sensed and I suddenly felt I not only had permission to winter, but an obligation to do so as much as our western culture allowed. I was completely inspired. As May writes about a little field mouse who triumphs in the winter, so I set out to become one.
What is wintering? My definition may be slightly different than May’s or another’s, but to me it is the ritual of following the environment in which you live. When the life outside your door goes dormant, you should slow down too. Nature outside is biding her time, storing energy, not trying to be something she is not. I do not want to escape winter or just get through it. I do not want to act like it is spring and summer when God’s creation is signalling death and rest and slowing down. I am unwilling to go against what my mighty God set into motion. At least, I will try. I can also apply this to more than literal winter, but to any time where God is calling me into something that is less than progress and productivity in the culture’s eyes.
Whole books have been written on how to rest inside of Christian culture and otherwise, so I won’t get into that too deeply other than to say I do believe it is a directive from God to rest, as He wishes to protect us and to prosper us. I used to think it was a rule that didn’t apply to me, but after living my life for many years without it and this past almost two years incorporating intentional rest time into my day and week, I will never go back. Many studies show that sabbathing (taking one day off in seven) adds years to our human life spans. I believe this is closely related to this practice of following seasons, tradition and other appointments of rest.
I certainly see so many burned out people around me. It breaks my heart seeing mothers running out of steam and announcing that motherhood is the problem. It worries me to see so many chronic health conditions limit and afflict so many women, even young women. There are many contributing factors, but I do believe our culture of hustle and go go go is demeaning our health, happiness and our God given purposes in life. I want to stay with winter, with this day, this moment, this life. Stay in it when it is hard. Stay in it when I want to move. Stay in it when everyone around me is trying to pull me away.
I ask myself, am I willing to trust God is sitting with me, here now, before the breakthrough? My hope is that we don’t forget that God grants the increase. I am glad that He does. As Oswald Chambers has written, “God wants to bring us into his work, but he can do it without us.” Doing more and more and pushing myself to collapse is not going to produce the fruit I ultimately want. Frankly, those of us who are female living in the west are in serious danger of burn out, and this is a remedy: remembering that rest and recovery is part of God’s plan for us physically, mentally, spiritually. For our mission life, call it purpose, ministry, motherhood, what have you. I believe wintering is one expression of this. We can rest, God’s got it.
While I’ve been endeavoring to live seasonally, I think I was missing some key elements until this past winter. I want to just highlight a few things I’ve learned in this first season of intentional wintering:
Listen to your body. We have responsibilities built into our western culture that for many of us are inescapable. And yet, there is still much we do have control over. Do not fool yourself into thinking, “I just can’t.” or “I just have to.” I have learned this by being hospitalized. The things can go undone, even when it doesn’t feel true, it is. Be honest with yourself about what is truly needed and let go of more.
I have started time blocking for my day following TCM practicing. Traditional Chinese Medicine is a method of living that is ancient and follows the seasons. Take and leave what you will, but the time blocking has been incredibly helpful to achieve a rhythm in my day that is realistic in the midst of chronic fatigue and other health limitations. This paired with cycle syncing has been chef’s kiss.
Delight in what you do have, even when it is not the sunshine. I tend to be a high energy, high vision crafter and creator. This season I chose lower output creation outlets such as embroidery and rewriting the Scriptures and journaling. Having a more simple go-to creative practice, especially something involving repetition and my hands has been a boon for my mental health.
The mental game is strong, don’t talk about and dwell on how difficult this time of year can be or is etc. Acknowledge it, plan for it, but stop complaining and set your mind on the positive things of the season. The lovely peaceful calm and quiet a snowfall brings, the warming and romantic lighting of the season, the opportunities for developing skill on a cozy craft, those long dark hours that can often lead to deep conversion with your best friend but still be in bed by 8pm. Whatever you attune with, draw your attention to it.
Keep warm, eat warming foods! Make some stewed pears and apples, steep some red dates, make a soup, eat some pumpkin or sweet potato. Put socks on your feet, sleep with a heating blanket, don’t sit too long even for work, get up for a walk or have a moment on a vibration plate. Get the circulation and blood and lymph flowing!
Do not forget that you have friends. You probably have some really wonderful ones. If you don’t think you do, you may be surprised to look around and find kinship in unexpected places like your chiropractor’s office.
Lastly, hold onto the light. Be that your Christmas tree, celebrating a new ritual like Candlemas, lighting candles as you get ready for bed, or sitting with a red light in the morning or evening. Hold onto the light. I also suggest this figuratively as well. I’ve made it no secret that I believe that Jesus Christ was a real person, fully God and fully man. I believe in His work on the cross, committed to rescue each one of us. Holding onto Him in my everyday routines has been everything.
If you aren’t into the advice, by all means, skip it. Though keep in mind I am a sunshine lady living in the PNW, so I know a thing or two about gloominess. I am happy to report that as this season of winter just is beginning to come to a close–that’s right, suck it, Punxsutawney Phil!–my mental health has not taken a huge downturn this season as it often has in the past. My energy slumped for about three weeks, but then just leveled out to a turtle type of pace. I am happy with the turtle’s pace. After all, I endeavored to live as a field mouse this winter, and they stay put for ten days straight. I highly recommend it.
References and Inspirations
Comer, John Mark. The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. Colorado Springs, Waterbrook, 29 Oct. 2019.
Dr. Josh Axe. Ancient Remedies. Little, Brown Spark, 2 Feb. 2021.
Kaptchuk, Ted J. The Web That Has No Weaver : Understanding Chinese Medicine. New York, Mcgraw-Hill, 2008.
Leibowitz, Kari. How to Winter. Penguin, 22 Oct. 2024.
May, Katherine. Wintering. Penguin, 10 Nov. 2020.
Oswald Chambers, and James Reimann. My Utmost for His Highest. Grand Rapids, Michigan, Discovery House, 2018.