What the Most Terifying Villain of Stranger Things Said That Finally Let Me Stop Making Excuses for the People Who Have Hurt Me
There is something I still can’t get off my mind. Henry. You must know about the show Stranger Things. The sci-fi, fantasy, coming of age love letter to the 80’s which has some really unexpectedly emotionally intelligent moments. Honestly, I adore the first season. And while the other seasons haven’t hit in the same way, there have been story telling in each that I have quite enjoyed. One of these elements I’m thinking about today is the final story arc of Henry Creel, otherwise known as Vecna, otherwise known as One. This monster that is represented as a vine demon with dark magic that can enter a character’s mind through their brokenness, wounds and weaknesses and then trap them or murder them is really the kind of nightmarish stuff that we see in real life.
I have loved following the story of Max. Most especially as she represents all of us empathetic, emotionally scarred and sensitive people. She is also the character through which we can really get to know Henry’s mind–how he can have power over her and others. It is through her story that we see what Henry fears most. His greatest fear is represented in a cave structure that leads to where he first makes contact with these other worldly entities and where his journey of evil begins. I confess I was predicting a redemption story for him. I just was hoping it didn’t fall flat. He has killed and abducted children, used them and essentially twisted their minds against them. I am not a fan. It would have taken a lot to make a turn around for him believable. And yet, as we meet him at the edge of this cave that is the entrance to his most feared memory, I found myself being pulled in that direction. The story previously established that he will not move forward beyond that point and yet, what he needs to accomplish his evil goals are right on the other side. So, in a dramatic, Hitchcockian moment we find ourselves rooting for him to overcome his own demons and get his ass in the cave. Yes, even though he is chasing after a dozen children to enslave them inside his own mind. I truly thought: here is where we see Henry confront his fear, relive the awful things that were done to him and establish that he is just a pawn. If he just would feel through this time in his life and have the strength to move forward he could be free. We even had Will, a character who is overcoming his own trauma, speaking to him through this moment. And then, Henry said, “You don’t understand.” Full stop! So instead of a Darth Vader moment where love is going to conquer the big bad…we get, “I chose this.” Powerful. Freeing. Yet not in the way I thought.
As a recovering people pleaser and over-responsible compassionate person, this hit me hard. It felt like my own revelation. I did not identify with Henry dragging himself through the place of his greatest torment and fear, I identified with all of those he hurt and continued to hurt because of his hatred and his superiority and carelessness with those around him. Of course it is to an extreme degree that Henry expresses these traits, but it was so revealing to me nonetheless that he knew what he was choosing and he kept choosing it. Full stop for me. It released me from so much. As there seem to consistently be people in my life who choose to demean me, choose to be rude, choose to be just plain mean. I am so over it. I’m over making excuses for them. And yet, I don’t want to hold onto the anger that will help me keep my boundaries. I want to hold compassion for them and yet still say “no”. Even just “no” to the power they have in my heart. The power to make me feel little. To make me feel like I take up too much space. To make me feel like I am too much. I am not enough. I am just built too sensitive, too emotional, too weak. Once again our beloved Eleanor Roosevelt expressed powerfully, “No one can make you feel small without your consent.” So thanks, Vecna!
I’m holding onto this lesson today. The lesson that we have more power than we realize. We can’t give it away so freely. You might need that takeaway too. For in the long run it will cause us to be more free, more loving, more ourselves.
References and Inspirations
Stranger Things (Netflix series)