On Stones of Remembrance, Seasons of Loss, and Why the Story Is Not Over Yet
This summer butterflies became very precious to me again. This time they have been almost like a talisman. I wore them, painted them, found some stickers of them, I wanted them on everything. Did I revert back to my 11 year old self in the midst of the coquette adjacent, soft y2k style? Was I revisiting the days when I drew butterflies on everything…and I do mean everything!? Maybe. At first, I thought perhaps something in me was longing for a comfort in nostalgia and girlhood in the same way we might watch our favorite comfort show, be it Gilmore Girls or the Office or find our way back to Lizzie McGuire. But it was more than that. I felt this deep knowing in me that the butterflies were whispering a message that I needed to hear. Every time I saw one, I felt hope.
I then did the briefest research to find that across cultures this little bug tells the story of hope, rejuvenation, rebirth, resurrection and the simple statement that the story is not over yet. This past summer I experienced more loss than I could ever expect: my precious papa, my dear Aunt Toni, my little kitty boy, the comfort of my home for a time, losing a good friend and mentor, losing my husband’s mother. It was excruciating. And yet, our stories were not over.
I say the papillon acted as a talisman for me, but this is because I recognized it as a symbol I saw in the nature around me in a difficult season. It drew my mind toward a passage in Scripture of which I love so much. Butterflies became stones of remembrance. Throughout Scripture it’s recorded that God asked His people to place stones. The book of Joshua being my favorite account of this practice. For it was said of him that he remembered well.
In Joshua chapter 4 we see this, “…this may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to come, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ then you shall tell them…” Again and again the Hebrew people placed stones to remember what God did for them. When I was younger I wanted to be like Joshua. I wanted to remember the marvelous and the profound things God has done for me. While I’m still working towards that goal, stones of remembrance in my life help me to do so. I can’t help but sense that God continues to call His followers to create intentional reminders of God’s love, protection and work in our lives. I feel called to practice this and it takes a different shape in different seasons. Right now, it is butterflies. My hope was never placed in this fragile creature. It ultimately is placed in the King of kings and Lord of lords. Our Creator and Savior, Jesus Christ. The butterfly just reminds me, I will see them again. It reminds me to keep my hope in the Lord. I can keep going. This story is not over yet.